


Fearless

by jactingchoices



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Realisations, Somewhere in the early seasons, Song fic, This is my first fic so idk what to tag it as lmao, castiel Would be a Taylor swift stan and so is dean, feelings; realisations; and the overwhelming power of Taylor swift, like nothing but castiel trying to name his feeling, the Taylor swift destiel universe, this is all feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jactingchoices/pseuds/jactingchoices
Summary: Cas watches the rain race its way down the passenger window as dean drives their way down the moonlit interstate. He knows he doesn’t really need to be here, he could simply fly to their destination and wait for Dean to catch up to him, but he’s firmly rooted to the bench of the impala. He doesn’t know why.Otherwise known as: Taylor Swift helps Cas understand what love is.This takes place at some point before castiel loses his wings. when exactly really depends on when you think he realised.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Fearless

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [This tumblr post](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/754926) by Jurisffiction on tumblr. 



>   
> Hey! This is my very first fic.  
> I hope y’all like it!
> 
> Insp. by this tumblr post: https://jurisffiction.tumblr.com/post/640149266696945664/cas-being-completely-overwhelmed-by-like-teen-girl

Castiel watches the rain race its way down the passenger window as dean drives their way down the moonlit interstate. He knows he doesn’t really need to be here, he could simply fly to their destination and wait for Dean to catch up to him, but he’s firmly rooted to the bench of the impala. It’s not any great love of travelling that keeps Cas there, he’s tried it many times before and it has always left him feeling hemmed in and impatient. No, it’s something else that has an Angel of the Lord committing to memory the grain of leather beneath his thighs at this very moment, as if it’s a footnote of Creation itself. The word for _it_ escapes him like the asphalt beneath the impala’s tires, the feeling settled solid and unmoving in his stomach while his mind races on – keeping pace with the car and the rain.

“What _is it_ with music today? It’s all so shit.” Dean swears as he changes the radio station for the fifth time in as many minutes, eventually landing on an old country song in its final verse, “heh, this’ll do.”

“You know, Dean,” Cas counters, momentarily broken from his reverie, distracted by sorting through a box of cassette tapes at his feet, “you could just put in one of these. At least you know you like them.”

Dean throws him an exasperated glance Castiel isn’t sure he’s really earned, “A bit of variety is good for the soul, Cas, you must know that.”

For a moment, Castiel can see straight through him. Dean hides it so well normally. Ironclad in walls of cocky smiles and rumpled flannel. But it’s instances like this, when they’re alone in the middle of the night, where Castiel can catch a rare glimpse of his soul. Glittering just beneath the surface, glinting like silver in the fractured moonlight streaking through the windshield. He’s beautiful. Castiel can’t look away.

“I don’t have a soul, Dean. I’m an Angel.” This time, he thinks he deserves the look.

The song fades out, and for a while Cas goes back to watching the rain. Dean goes back to perfecting the art of watching the road and Cas at the same time. Somehow, Cas doesn’t notice. A new song chases away the silence, drawing Castiel in until he’s certain that no one else in his history has ever quite understood him like this,

_“- I wanna stay right here in this passenger seat,_

_You put your eyes on me,_

_In this moment now capture it remember it,”_

“Dean, what is she talking about?” It comes out less like a question, and more like a prayer.

Dean looks like he’s been ripped from a trance, ears turning pink as he leans forward to change the station again, only stopping when Castiel covers his hand with his own to stay the movement. For a second he glances up, pinned by Cas’ searching gaze, before moving his eyes back to the road and dropping his hand from the console. The lack of contact burns.

“It’s, uh, about love. First love. All the dumb bravery and stupid decisions that come with it, y’know?” Another sidelong glance is sent Cas’ way. One he can’t read. Dean’s face softens before he can ask what it was, “well I guess you wouldn’t know, would you, Cas?”

There’s something new there, behind Dean’s voice. Another thing that Castiel cannot entirely place. It sits on the border of resignation, sadness, and something else entirely. Curling around his syllables like smoke that someone is trying to catch in their bare hands, never quite sticking but leaving a hazy trace all the same - hope. Castiel’s brow furrows. _He_ pieced this man together from atoms, _he_ re-painted the constellations of his freckles on his spine, _he_ could recite the number codes of the colors of every hair on his head. Yet at this moment, when Castiel could not even begin to explain why it was so important, Dean Winchester was entirely illegible to him.

They say that as you get older, time moves faster. Something about relativity. Cas has always found it to be true, minutes become insignificant when they’re placed on a timeline of millennia. Right now though, as realisation floods Castiel like a dam burst somewhere between his heart and his head, the moment stretches out before him in a way he can’t remember experiencing since he watched the earth formed from particles beneath his gaze.

“ _And I don’t know how it gets better than this,_

_You take my hand and drag me head first,_

_Fearless,”_

_“_ No. I understand, Dean.” There’s an element of surety in his voice that surprises even himself.

It’s why he’s still here, basking in the seeming insignificance of a long drive. Castiel has a word for it now. _Love._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As I said, I know it’s super short but this is my very first fic, so any advice/comments would be v happily received! 
> 
> Again, thanks a bunch for reading!!!
> 
> I’m imonlymewhenimwithu on tumblr for anyone interested :)


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